Christopher Lasch and Our Culture of Narcissism

Has our culture’s narcissism only grown in the decades since Christopher Lasch published his famous book on the culture of narcissism?

In his classic work The Culture of Narcissism (1979), Christopher Lasch proposed that American culture “gives increasing prominence and encouragement to narcissistic traits.”

If Lasch’s thesis is correct—and he makes a compelling case—then it seems reasonable to assume that many of us might possess narcissistic traits or behaviors, perhaps entirely unbeknownst to ourselves.

It prompts an important question: What do these behaviors look like?

A number of years ago, Darlene Lancer, a clinical therapist, offered a tidy list of behaviors narcissists often employ in their interactions with people. Here is her list (with some abridged definitions):

1. Verbal abuse: Verbal abuse includes belittling, bullying, accusing, blaming, shaming, demanding, ordering, threatening, criticizing, sarcasm, raging, opposing, undermining, interrupting, blocking, and name-calling.

2. Manipulation: Generally, manipulation is indirect influence on someone to behave in a way that furthers the goals of the manipulator. Often, it expresses covert aggression. Think of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

3. Emotional blackmail: Emotional blackmail may include threats, anger, warnings, intimidation, or punishment.

4. Gaslighting: Intentionally making you distrust your perceptions of reality or believe that you’re mentally incompetent.

5. Competition: Competing and one-upping to always be on top, sometimes through unethical means. E.g. cheating in a game.

6. Negative contrasting: Unnecessarily making comparisons to negatively contrast you with the narcissist or other people.

7. Sabotage: Disruptive interference with your endeavors or relationships for the purpose of revenge or personal advantage.

8. Exploitation and objectification: Using or taking advantage of you for personal ends without regard for your feelings or needs.

9. Lying: Persistent deception to avoid responsibility or to achieve the narcissist’s own ends.

10. Withholding: Withholding such things as money, sex, communication or affection from you.

11. Neglect: Ignoring the needs of a child for whom the abuser is responsible. Includes child endangerment; i.e., placing or leaving a child in a dangerous situation.

12. Privacy invasion: Ignoring your boundaries by looking through your things, phone, mail; denying your physical privacy or stalking or following you; ignoring privacy you’ve requested.

13. Character assassination or slander: Spreading malicious gossip or lies about you to other people.

14. Violence: This includes blocking your movement, pulling hair, throwing things, or destroying your property.

15. Financial abuse: Financial abuse might include controlling you through economic domination or draining your finances through extortion, theft, manipulation, or gambling, or by accruing debt in your name or selling your personal property.

16. Isolation: Isolating you from friends, family, or access to outside services and support through control, manipulation, verbal abuse, character assassination, or other means of abuse.

Lancer rounds out her list with violence, financial abuse, and isolation (isolating someone from other people in their lives).

One might look at the list above and feel relief that he or she does not possess many (or any) of the behaviors enumerated. But would the narcissist be capable of honestly analyzing his own behavior?

The answer appears to be yes. Studies have shown that narcissists, perhaps surprisingly, are generally aware of their own narcissistic traits and behavioral tendencies. They often simply try to frame these traits and tendencies as strengths.  

Lasch’s book is now 45 years old, and I can’t help but feel the culture of narcissism he observed has only intensified in recent decades. After all, Lasch wrote his book well before the advent of reality TV or social media—mediums that seem to fuel narcissistic traits and tendencies.

Part of me wonders if narcissism is so common today we don’t even recognize it as such. The traits Lancer describes seem commonplace, especially in the most successful segments of society. I don’t mean just musicians, athletes, and movie stars, but elected officials (and bureaucrats).

Lasch died in 1994 at age 61. But if he were alive today, I’d love to buy him dinner and see what he thought of America in 2025. I suspect he’d say, I warned you, didn’t?